Workout Song of the Moment #3

Since my fat ass has actually been going to the gym consistently, I’ve had to add several songs to my workout rotation. What will follow is a periodic update of whichever song has given me added juice on the lifting machines or elliptical trainer. Download these yourselves and enjoy.

“Hey” – The Suicide Machines

I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what my entrance music would be if I were a UFC fighter or WWE Superstar. My UFC fight music hasn’t changed in some time, and remains “Walk” by Pantera. That song is pure sonic aggression, and since you’re less a character, more a warrior, your song choice probably won’t evolve much over time.

When you picture yourself as a WWE Superstar, there’s a lot more to think about. What kind of character are you? Fan favorite? Hated villain? Cocky? Charismatic? Intense? Humorless? Wiseass? Depending on the answers to these questions, your entrance music will evolve thusly.

That’s why at various points I’ve had “Sex Type Thing” by Stone Temple Pilots, “Redefine” by Incubus, “Killing in the Name” by Rage Against the Machine, “X Gon’ Give It To Ya” by DMX, and “Give It All” by Rise Against. Currently when I’m doing my little WWE entrance fantasy like I’m 8 years old or something, I’m picturing coming out to “Hey” by The Suicide Machines.

It’s perfect. It’s got that ominous, foreboding, daunting intro that builds and builds and gets louder and louder until the tension is unbearable. Then like a crack of the whip all the darkness gives way to a manic ska song that’s so propulsive even listening to it now while I type made me type faster.

When I’m at the end of a set and I want to finish strong, I cue up this one and “This Fire” by Killswitch Engage. I picture my own imaginary entrance into an arena of screaming fans when I hear “Hey,” and I simply picture this when I hear “This Fire.”

Apparently I want to fight CM Punk for the WWE Title even though I’m 31, a working white collar professional, and married with my very own mortgage payment and two cats.

This will never happen, of course. But if it helps me go a little faster for 6 minutes on the elliptical machine, I’ll take it.


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