Since my fat ass has actually been going to the gym consistently, I’ve had to add several songs to my workout rotation. What will follow is a periodic update of whichever song has given me added juice on the lifting machines or elliptical trainer. Download these yourselves and enjoy.
“Whole Lotta Rosie” (Live) – AC/DC
You can pick any number of songs from AC/DC’s catalog to enhance your workout (my personal favorite is “If You Want Blood, (You’ve Got It)” off Highway to Hell), but this one is all about the pauses.
“Whole Lotta Rosie” is a song that takes the standard blues riff (da-da-da-DA-dum) and speeds it the fuck up. If you’re looking to distill the genius of AC/DC, it’s pretty much just that. Take standard simple rock and roll elements, amp them up, and perfect them. In between those riffs is only Bon Scott’s (or, in my case, Brian Johnson’s – from the 1992 Live album) voice singing about how great a lay this fat chick named Rosie is.
This is a song that should turn off your inhibition, and Rosie is the reason why. One of the most important aspects of getting back into a workout routine is not subconsciously competing with everyone else in the gym. Doing that will only lead you to either hurt yourself, discouragement, or preening in victory when you defeat an opponent who didn’t know they were competing. All embarrassing.
Rosie “ain’t exactly pretty, she ain’t exactly small, forty-two, thirty-nine, fifty-six, you could say she’s got it all.” That’s a large fucking woman, and at that size (19 stone, or about 266 lbs for you non-limeys), most normal people would probably be ashamed of themselves and hold back. Not Rosie. “And right around the clock, to my surprise, Rosie never stops.” Neither do you.
Panting like a dog after only 12 minutes on the elliptical? Fuck it. Doing curls with piddly 10 lb dumbbells and struggling on the last one of the set (as I was recently)? You don’t give a shit. You’re working out, and you can do it all night long. And Rosie’s getting you getting you four minutes closer. Exercise with impunity!