I don’t generally make firm new year’s resolutions for the same reason I don’t make specific plans for when I go on vacation – you only open yourself to disappointment.

However, in the spirit of not shitting all over yet another commonly held cultural tradition again, I implore you to take the opportunity a fresh page on the calendar presents you and do something. Do what? That’s up to you.

I’m inspired to write this thanks to this article from David Wong, of He writes:

“So how about this: one year. The end of 2013, that’s our deadline. Or a year from whenever you read this. While other people are telling you “Let’s make a New Year’s resolution to lose 15 pounds this year!” I’m going to say let’s pledge to do fucking anything — add any skill, any improvement to your human tool set, and get good enough at it to impress people. Don’t ask me what — hell, pick something at random if you don’t know. Take a class in karate, or ballroom dancing, or pottery. Learn to bake. Build a birdhouse. Learn massage. Learn a programming language. Film a porno. Adopt a superhero persona and fight crime. Start a YouTube vlog… I want you to purely focus on giving yourself a skill that would make you ever so slightly more interesting and valuable to other people.

That’s a call to action I can get onboard with. I don’t give a fuck what you do, but whatever it is, do it, and do it as well as you can. You’ll feel amazing.

In 2012, I was one blue motherfucker when I decided (along with my co-creator) to shut down my old website. I didn’t feel like writing. My creativity was at an all-time low. I sat in a funk at work. I didn’t do anything. And I felt like shit.

Then one day I just started writing again. I had some spare time in a hotel room, and I wrote the first draft of this. Then this. More followed. Then I couldn’t shut it off. Then I felt better. Now we’re here. It was really that easy.

Additionally, a couple days after Thanksgiving, I started a weight loss program. The reasons for that are many, but ultimately, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I hadn’t stepped on a scale in probably four years, and it was much easier living my life in the dark as if somehow not knowing the number on the scale prevented all the other indications that I was a fat shit from being readily apparent.

So I did something. It started by stepping on the scale. It was both unnerving and liberating. And off I went (more on the program itself at a later date). This is holiday season, and I’m already down 11 lbs. in a little over a month. I’ve got 30 or so to go. And if I can lose the first fourth of this weight during the fattest part of the year, I guarantee you that whatever you’re looking to do is well within your grasp. I’m not just losing weight which is actually a secondary goal; I’m training myself how to live a healthy life. I had no idea. But I’m learning. I’m doing something. And it feels great.

So that’s 2013. Whatever it is, just fucking do it. It’s up to you, and you’ll feel better when you do.

Good luck, and happy new year.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.