Welcome to Jon’s Audio Resume, the Jon of All Trades solo exploration of all the weird ass jobs I’ve had in my life. This series runs in chronological order and here is my fifth job.

Job: Property Maintenance Grunt
Duration: June – July, 2001
Pay: $10.00/hour
Did I get along with my boss? No, he was a fucking asshole.

God, this job sucked. And I’ve got to qualify that by also stating I’m immensely grateful to our family friend who hooked me up with this job (he and his company owned all these buildings where I did the maintenance) the summer after my freshman year of college because I was too lazy to find one myself and my mom was up my ass about it.

But yeah, this job sucked. If you like walking around in the heat picking up cigarettes butts in parking lots and putting them in a bucket, this was your job. If you enjoy picking up pinecones, shoveling gravel into (again) a bucket, or pulling weeds, this was your job. And if you enjoyed working for assholes who seemed not to do much while you weedwhacked the sides of a gravel path that sent shrapnel into your legs, this was your job.

I will say I was jacked from all the manual labor in the intense heat after this job ended, which was nice, but that’s about it. This was also my first experience with direct deposit, which is weird to think of as something that you have a “first time” with, but there you go. And without question, it’s tremendous that we’ve had family friends willing to hire teenagers for their various companies. That’s undeniably cool. But yeah, this job sucked.

Made for a funny episode though. Enjoy it on iTunes, via Stitcher, or at the Jon of All Trades homepage.

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