I don’t hate Ikea. Of course, I’m Swedish, so I’m not technically allowed to hate Ikea (it’s part of the contract the Swedish overlords make you sign when you turn 18). But if Ikea were my girlfriend, I would probably grab her forearm real hard when she got mouthy with me while walking through Target,…
Read MoreIf you’re reading this on Friday, I’m moving today. If you’re reading this on Saturday, I’m still moving today. And if you’re reading this anytime within three months of this article’s publish date, I’m still putting my house together. You already know this – moving sucks. I have yet to meet a person who feels…
Read MoreHer: Well, love is the best medicine. Him: That’s laughter. Her: Why do you do it? Him: I don’t know. Dialog between Monica and Chandler during a season 6 episode of Friends called “The One with Ross’s Denial”, yes. Also the origin of many a paraphrased interaction between Kristin and I. I am exceedingly precise…
Read MoreOpening Day of the baseball season is a holiday. It’s a chance to shake off the winter rust, get back into the warm sunshine, crack some shells, drink some beers, and kick off the next great baseball season. When the season begins, your team is tied for first place, which might be the best they…
Read MoreSome people believe the government should be very involved in our lives. Others believe the government is already too involved in our lives. Whatever side of this ideological fence you sit on, I sincerely doubt you have a problem with the government’s role in protecting the health and confidence of the American public through the…
Read MoreIf you’re looking for the most worthless, low-down, extortive, naked cash grab in the city of Denver, you’ll need to drive way the fuck east where it seems like you shouldn’t be in the city anymore. And here you thought the answer was downtown in those poor sad sack motherfuckers who check parking meters for…
Read MoreWhile eating some frozen entrée for lunch the other day that served as mere delivery device for the bottle of Sriracha I keep in my desk, I read this. The story tells of a Pennsylvania woman who sues the previous owners of her house for failing to disclose that one year earlier, a man named…
Read MoreThree years ago Kristin and I saw John Heffron at the Comedy Works downtown. He put on a reliably good set as we’d expected considering this was the second time we’d seen him. And then a fight broke out in the audience. Do you have any idea how trashy you have to be to get…
Read MoreWritten at 11:54 am, Tuesday, January 22, 2013 Well, that was pretty much the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Without dancing around this too much, here’s what you’re getting in for if you decide to read the rest of this, in plain, declarative form: I dropped my work ID badge into a toilet…
Read MoreThanks to a recent conversation on Facebook with my friend Dustin and his friend Casey, I have been thinking about irony and authenticity a lot. Here are some of the contributing factors to my thoughts about these topics.
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