On behalf of men everywhere, I’d just like to say: Thank you, Lululemon. You have given us yet another spectacular way of enjoying the female form. We are eternally grateful for your wonderful yoga pants, and we wish for the continued success and prosperity of your company. May this trend of hot women wearing form…
Read MoreSo I had planned to update twice this week, but moving has overtaken my life. As an added bonus, I’m now also fighting a nasty head cold. I’m a mess. It’s like a horrific version of Willy Wonka’s factory all up in my sinuses. And while you ponder that image, I’ll casually mention that I’m…
Read MoreIf you’re reading this on Friday, I’m moving today. If you’re reading this on Saturday, I’m still moving today. And if you’re reading this anytime within three months of this article’s publish date, I’m still putting my house together. You already know this – moving sucks. I have yet to meet a person who feels…
Read MoreOne of my favorite takedowns of all-time appeared in GQ in early 2012. Every year, they compile a list of “The 25 Least Influential People Alive,” and in this particular year, cable TV gasbag Ed Schultz appeared as #3. Here’s the takedown: “There are so many repugnant political pundits on TV now, we tend to…
Read MoreHer: Well, love is the best medicine. Him: That’s laughter. Her: Why do you do it? Him: I don’t know. Dialog between Monica and Chandler during a season 6 episode of Friends called “The One with Ross’s Denial”, yes. Also the origin of many a paraphrased interaction between Kristin and I. I am exceedingly precise…
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Pop quiz: What is the item you can seek to purchase at an adult novelty (read: sex toy) store and feel the least amount of shame about? Answer: Fertility friendly personal lubricant. Nothing else even comes close. The lingerie is incredibly trashy, the bachelor/bachelorette party supplies are all patently ridiculous (for those of you resisting…
Read MoreSince my fat ass has actually been going to the gym consistently, I’ve had to add several songs to my workout rotation. What will follow is a periodic update of whichever song has given me added juice on the lifting machines or elliptical trainer. Download these yourselves and enjoy. “Whiskey’s Gone” – Zac Brown Band…
Read MoreI am not a baseball general manager, which remains on my life’s most egregious miscarriages of justice. I say that based mostly on one drunken rant I unloaded onto my best friend Jason on July 4th, 2005. I knew how to fix the Rockies, dammit, and they wouldn’t be any good until they took my…
Read More“When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep… and you’re never really awake. With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything’s far away. Everything’s a copy of a copy of a copy.” – The Narrator, Fight Club. I haven’t slept well since Christmas, maybe before. I honestly can’t remember the last time I slept well consistently. I’m numb….
Read MoreYou know what else is cool about me? My ability to drive in the snow. I don’t know what it is, but I get in a very Zen state where the car and I become one. I’m responsive, but not reactive. I’m focused, but relaxed. Most people drive like timid contestants on Wipeout, just waiting…
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