I snapped this photo at Cherry Creek Mall. This hangs above that crazy play area where little kids run and play on big plastic-y structures of Looney Tunes characters. I have not been in there, but I imagine this play area to be extremely sticky, which is probably why some poor team of janitors has to go in every hour and coat the place in Lysol the way those big DDT trucks used to spray everyone’s lawns in the 1950s.

Based on a long history of watching Warner Bros. cartoons, if I were Daffy Duck, I think out of all the Looney Tunes pals, I would least want Wile E. Coyote as my pilot. This will almost certainly result in death, or, best case scenario, horrific maiming for poor Daffy. I’ll bet that’s an Acme helicopter too, which inexplicably has a monopoly on every product in whatever the fuck universe these characters live in, despite a hideous track record of products that brutally, and often ironically, malfunction and injure their users.

I’m being mostly silly here, but the day I read a story about how this fucking thing fell from the ceiling and destroyed both of these characters and injured a dozen kids below (because, let’s face it, kids are mostly retarded and oblivious to danger) is the day I shake my head knowingly and wonder what I could’ve done to prevent this tragedy as I pour myself a conciliatory tumbler of scotch and drink it wearily. I’ve seen too much in this world, man… Seen too much…