I rarely find a fellow traveler that impresses me. As I’ve talked about before, I travel plenty, and I know what I’m doing. I walk with purpose, I don’t block thoroughfares and I know where the fuck I’m going. I wish I could throw away people’s luggage the way George Clooney does to Anna Kendrick…
Read MoreWe play a fucklot of trivia. Our most frequent trivia outings happen at places that feature Geeks Who Drink pub quizzes where we usually acquit ourselves well and finish in the top 3 teams which merits house cash as a prize. It’s two of our favorite things – nerdery and alcohol. We’re going to Austin…
Read MoreWhen it was released in 1994, my parents forbid me from seeing Pulp Fiction. I’m sure the reasons provided included the rampant drug use, gratuitous violence, and extensive profanity. But thinking back on it now, I’m pretty sure the sole reason was the whole sequence surrounding the redneck pawn shop owner and his security guard…
Read MoreI have learned that not only am I boring as shit when my wife is out of town, I was likely always this boring. She’s been gone all this week on business, and inevitably whenever I tell people that, I get the same dumbass mouth-breathing response. “Oh, well you’re batchin’ it this week. Look out!”…
Read More“A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fly, but is also known as a ‘busta.’” Truth. Released in January 1999, “No Scrubs” by TLC became the group’s third #1 single eighth Top 10. It’s also a song I unabashedly love for reasons I cannot comprehend. I am certainly appreciative of female empowerment and the…
Read MoreIf you’re ever around me and I suddenly start to seem like much more of a douche bag than normal, but you can’t put your finger on exactly why, I’m nervous. My gestures give me away when I’m nervous or intimidated or lacking for the appropriate social response. And the reason you think I’m a…
Read MoreI abstractly think those who are good at billiards are automatically the coolest cats in the room. There’s just something so unspeakably hip about being able to saunter up to a game and quietly run the table with surgical precision and unyielding focus while onlookers stare at you reverently and women fantasize about what it…
Read MoreI am a wide-eyed enthusiast for censored profanity. The biggest reason, I suppose, for this enthusiasm is that I believe it achieves the opposite of its intended effect. Rather than obfuscating an unsavory word, a big ol’ bleep circles it, highlights it, and sends your brain scurrying back to the obscenity file to figure out…
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