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Whitmore

So this show “1600 Penn” is starting and is billed as “NBC’s answer to Modern Family!” First, anytime a show is billed as “whoever’s answer to whatever,” that show invariably is going to suck. “Modern Family” was successful because it was a fresh take on the traditional family sitcom with crisp jokes, brisk pacing and…

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CHEATERS!

Today, this year’s inductees for the Baseball Hall of Fame are announced, and this will most likely be the first empty class since 1996. As fucking stupid as this is (and it is), it’s only emboldened by didactic fatheads who think their job is not solely to write about expensive diversions for a living, but…

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Neighbors

There’s a special moment in every homeowner’s life where his neighbor emerges from his garage that directly faces yours, and you think: “How have I lived here three goddamn years and never seen this person before?” In my little cluster of townhomes, there are like 64 different residents, and I know maybe four of them….

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Unescorted

I love being in the city. Kristin and I recently went to San Francisco where I had a work conference. I always appreciate when work obligations happen in good tourism cities because I’ll typically tack a couple of days onto the end of the trip and enjoy the city at a fraction of the cost….

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Twitter

Very quickly, and hopefully not too confusing… For those of you who were previously following @EksAxis on Twitter, you’re now following @MeetJonEks. For many of you, this means you are no longer getting my most up to date Tweets. For those of you who were previously following @CruJonesSociety on Twitter, you’re now following @EksAxis. If…

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Authenticity

Thanks to a recent conversation on Facebook with my friend Dustin and his friend Casey, I have been thinking about irony and authenticity a lot. Here are some of the contributing factors to my thoughts about these topics.

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Resolve

I don’t generally make firm new year’s resolutions for the same reason I don’t make specific plans for when I go on vacation – you only open yourself to disappointment. However, in the spirit of not shitting all over yet another commonly held cultural tradition again, I implore you to take the opportunity a fresh…

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Superstardom

I always feel like I’m on the verge of writing the next great pop song. I feel the art within me dying to break free and a big, beautiful hook that enraptures the masses with its incessant catchiness and wins over the music cognoscenti with its subtle instrumentation and gentle nuance. Experiences universal, yet uniquely…

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Covered

Today is Christmas Eve. You are almost certainly preparing for/looking forward to/dreading spending time with your friends and family today and/or tomorrow. Good luck with whatever the hell you’re doing the next two days. I imagine within the last two weeks or so, you attended (or at least heard about) your company’s holiday party. I…

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Run

You know how horses can take a dump while they’re running or walking, but the same is not true of peeing? I assume the same is true for humans given that I’ve seen Raab Himself shit himself while running full speed on one of those old CKY videos, which is just about the only proof…

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