The two-week layoff between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl is a cosmic wasteland of NFL news, which leaves the drones and shills who cover the NFL precious little to discuss. As a general practice, I avoid most sportswriting during this time because your reading choices are pretty much limited to gauzy “hey,…
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A couple of years ago, my friend Jason and I got good and drunk and saw the movie Escape Plan. If you don’t remember it – and why would you? – the movie features Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger trying to break out of a prison built to be inescapable. Spoiler alert: It’s not, however,…
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As I was doing my usual slack assing at work this morning, I read the AV Club’s weekly football column, and while writing about the Raiders, columnist John Teti offered these thoughts: “There’s a good chance that Oakland will go 0-16, which is sad. It’s at this point in the season that, from an impartial…
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The United States plays Belgium today, and I am rooting for the United States. Apparently I am not alone as, according to this (I’m certain) impeccably researched Yahoo news article, the rest of the world is hopping on the US soccer bandwagon as well. This article charmed the pants right off me because it largely…
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Yesterday the Rockies played the Braves and beat them 10-3. This is great on its own because Go Rockies and fuck the Braves. In the bottom of the 8th, Corey Dickerson fouled off a pitch and accidentally struck catcher Gerald Laird on the side of his head on the follow through of his swing. On…
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The Insane Inflatable 5k was Saturday, and I’m happy to report I led my Rad Racing team to victory… whatever “victory” is when you run in a 5k that isn’t timed among a throng of other “adults” on a course filled with a bunch of modified bounce houses. So yeah, it was a fun time….
Read MoreIt’s Monday as I write this. I’m at work, I’m getting nothing done, my email program has decided it no longer wants to cooperate, and I’m good and hungover. I’m a sentient Garfield cartoon. The good thing about a shit day like today – which has been one of those days where I felt fine…
Read MoreHappy Friday to you. Do you know what Sunday is? It’s WrestleMania. In fact, it’s WrestleMania XXX. While that may not mean anything to you, it means something to me because wrestling basically is my childhood. If I were to devise a Dewey Decimal System for my own life, it would have headings like “Hulk…
Read MoreSeeing as we’re in what’s probably the second greatest sports month of the year (October is obviously first), what with March Madness, baseball’s Opening Day, the playoff picture coming into focus for both the NBA and the NHL, and WrestleMania just on the horizon, it’s time to piss a little bit into everyone’s tranquility pool…
Read MoreI’m not generally one for Schadenfreude much anymore, but it’s hard not to take some enjoyment in watching the absurd spectacle of these Sochi games shine a light on how hopelessly corrupt the IOC is in awarding the world’s premier sporting spectacle to a country so hilariously ill-equipped to handle it despite somehow spending $50…
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