Since my fat ass has actually been going to the gym consistently, I’ve had to add several songs to my workout rotation. What will follow is a periodic update of whichever song has given me added juice on the lifting machines or elliptical trainer. Download these yourselves and enjoy.

“Machinehead” – Bush

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Bush was my first concert. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing there, which you can read more about here. I do know that I rocked out hardest when they played “Machinehead.”

Since I had never been to a rock concert, I’d never seen people headbang or thrash about in earnest. I actually practiced moshing in my room alone (which is one of the most embarrassing things I think I’ve ever admitted), but ultimately had no idea how to behave at a real live concert. I learned that there is no way to behave, just enjoy the music however you’re going to enjoy it and don’t worry about any of the other idiots around you.

Of course, when you’re 14, you’ll never be that unguarded, and in the rare instance you are, you’ll quickly find yourself in a shame spiral shortly thereafter anyway. Case in point: This song.

The opening riff of this song rips, and lead guitarist Nigel Pulsford was headbanging and lurching forward with an intensity I’ve never seen before. I was so energized by his motion, I lost myself in a moment and started mimicking his movements. I was standing in an aisle just throwing my head forward with crazy vigor. I finally stopped and looked at him and shouted pumping my fist with my finger in the air, “Go Nigel! Go Nigel!”

A whole shitload of people turned around and gawked at me as I shouted that, and POOF, the moment was over. I was back to meekly sitting and enjoying the music quietly because I was too self-conscious to ever outwardly display that level of intensity again. It was sort of crushing.

So when you find yourself pushing ever forward during your workout, just pretend like your name is Nigel and imagine 14 year-old Jon Eks cheering you on. Go Nigel! Go Nigel! At least then I’ll know my enthusiastic cheerleading was worth more than my self-conscious embarrassment and the (perceived) scorn of jaded onlookers.

Enjoy!